tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6603883426306376921.post2641811238487716045..comments2023-05-13T08:06:33.385-04:00Comments on Lilies and Elephants: Mental Health Pet PeevesMaya Northen Augellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02469306092296810650noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6603883426306376921.post-90064381051363875122016-12-09T11:28:52.525-05:002016-12-09T11:28:52.525-05:00Absolutely! The "I'm sorry you're goi...Absolutely! The "I'm sorry you're going through that" or "that must be so difficult" is spot on! It's something I say to people often. Sadly, it does not surprise me that people make these same kinds of assumptions with infertility, and I can't imagine how difficult that must be. People seem to think that if 1.) they haven't dealt with it, 2.) they've dealt with only a smidgen of something like it and overcome it or 3.) they can't see scientific evidence for it, that you just aren't trying hard enough - whatever it is that you're struggling with. And I agree with mental health not correlating to gratefulness (or lack thereof). It's very frustrating, because it often just makes me feel worse - now I'm depressed and feeling bad that people might think I'm ungrateful, even when I'm not. Maya Northen Augellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02469306092296810650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6603883426306376921.post-27588616638346354142016-12-09T11:14:17.904-05:002016-12-09T11:14:17.904-05:00This post stuck out to me because I am involved in...This post stuck out to me because I am involved in the infertility community and infertile people complain about many of the same things. Infertility is also a disease but people will tell you that you are just trying to hard, or that you should just accept it and focus on the good things in your life, or everyone's favorite, it is God's will. <br />Although all of these comments are different, they all imply the same thing: that you have control over your illness. And, since you have control, if you are having problems they must be of your own doing. Many people really don't understand the difference between an actual disease of the brain and a mood. <br />Also, I disagree with the premise that if you have a mental health issue you are unhappy or do not value what you have. These are not necessarily correlated. <br />Ultimately, the moral here is that we should all work on being better listeners and sympathizers without trying to provide solutions. When you are at a loss for something to say try "I'm sorry you are going through that" or "that must be difficult." Whether it is mental illness, infertility, relationship problems, etc. people tend to just want a sympathetic ear, they are not expecting you to come up with a solution so stop trying to give one. Maurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01684747396994972505noreply@blogger.com