Some Halloween Reminders

I love Halloween. More specifically, I love costumes and any excuse to dress up. I love seeing how creative people can get with costumes. Kids dressed up in their cute costumes are adorable. Dogs dressed up in costumes are possibly more adorable. But there are some things about Halloween that can be incredibly difficult for those with chronic and mental illness, as well as those who have experienced trauma in the past. It's super important to be mindful of this. I'm not trying to crush everyone's good time, but we have to consider that not everyone is up for the same celebrations as us. Here are a few thoughts.

Scary Attractions:

• Many, many Halloween attractions involve people jumping out and scaring participants. This may even include touching/grabbing participants, or getting super close to them. This could be a massive trigger for a  someone who has suffered an assault or an attack. And while I can't personally speak to someone having been in combat, I'd imagine that people jumping out and grabbing them/surprising them could also have negative effects. 

• Loud noises can be triggering. Those with PTSD, those with anxiety, those with sensory issues can be especially affected.

•  Crowds/groups in tight quarters. I can tell you as an anxious person with claustrophobia and heightened sensory perception, dark spaces packed with people (especially dark spaces packed with people where things are going to jump out and try to make me shit my pants scare me) are NOT places I want to be. 

• Not everyone loves surprises. Again, for those of us with anxiety and numerous other conditions, these can be traumatic. It doesn't have to be a tourist attraction. Don't hide in a dark corner dressed up like Freddy Kruger and jump out at me at home either. This isn't limited to "jumping out" surprises. I often post around April Fool's Day, explaining that those of us with anxiety can really be affected by "negative" surprises. If the idea is to frighten, scare, alarm someone, and their brain does this naturally without any outside input, it's probably best not to do it. 

To clarify, I'm not saying that these things shouldn't exist. I'm not saying you shouldn't go to "haunted" house/attractions (exception: keep reading). I'm not even saying not to invite us - after all, everyone's different, and just because someone has anxiety, it doesn't mean it'll be a trigger for them. But it could, so be mindful. Don't force someone to go or make them feel bad for not going. Remember, they don't owe the world, or anyone, an explanation. If someone says "I'd rather not go, that's not really my thing", that needs to be enough. Bugging them until they reveal that it will trigger a past trauma, and only then letting up on them going, isn't OK.


Parties/food/drink: 
While we're at it, a few other reminders of things that aren't your/anyone else's business:

•  Why someone isn't drinking at a party/gathering/etc

• Why someone isn't eating all the candy (or anything else)

There are many reasons why people don't drink or eat certain things. It could be illness, an allergy, or it could be a whole host of other things including..... maybe they just don't feel like it! Please don't judge someone based on their lack of alcohol consumption or their dietary habits. Peer pressure wasn't cool in middle school and it's not cool now either.


Costumes:
I really feel this can be summed up in three words: have some tact. Mental illnesses, chronic illnesses, and disabilities are real, every day struggles that people go through. Not costumes. And yes, I've seen costumes for all of the above being sold online. It's disgusting to me. And yes, I get that any costume could probably offend anyone, but putting on my mom's old bell bottoms and a headband and going as a hippie isn't quite the same as dressing up as someone with a serious, even potentially fatal, illness.


Asylum Attractions: 
I can't speak for the community at large here, but I can speak for myself and my opinion on this topic is very strong. Do me a favor - before you go to one of the "asylum" attractions, read up on the history of "insane asylums". Read about how people were treated - by which I mean often abused, tortured, and in some cases even killed or left for dead. Read about how people were experimented on without their consent or at times without their knowledge. If you're cool with all of that, then sure, go ahead and give these attractions your money. Also know when you do this, every time you support something that makes a caricature out of mental illness, you're actively supporting stigma.

Asylum-Themed Halloween Attractions Need to Stop

There are a lot of things I like about Halloween. Orange is my favorite color. Any opportunity to dress up is a huge bonus. I don't love overly scary movies but I do love ghost-related things (assuming the "related" part doesn't involve actually interacting with a ghost up close). But one thing that I absolutely hate about Halloween, and I mean hate, is the "asylum" themed attractions. There are so many reasons. I could rant on and on about this. I'll try not to, but I might, a little.

First off, the fact that people with mental health conditions were until the last few decades more or less deemed hopeless cases and shut up to be forgotten about for the rest of their lives, is an atrocious tragedy. It's not a "fun attraction". Had you had to endure what these people had to, I'm quite sure you wouldn't think it was some sort of creepy-fun ride.

Secondly, and probably more glaringly, what these "attractions" portray is utterly BS, and they spread stigma.  Let me tell you what a hospital for mental health is like. Let me tell you, because I've been there. First off, while pretty much all of the health care system could improve, including that of mental health care, a facility for mental health looks a hell of a lot better than a regular hospital room. Yes, I had to share a room (for me with social anxiety this was pretty awful). But I had a real bed. Not a metal hospital bed, a real one like people would have in their homes. And a perfectly nice, friendly roommate. We had our own bathroom - every room did. There was a common room where we could watch tv, read, talk if we felt like communicating with others, which again, because of social anxiety, I didn't do a ton of. There were several individual therapy rooms and a group therapy room. Yes, they did take my belt, and then tell me I needed shorts that fit better (my witty response of "they fit fine 'til you took my belt" didn't go very far). Yes, I had to eat with a plastic spork. But if not being allowed a belt or metal utensils are terrifying to you, I hope you never have to go through security at the airport, because they don't allow these either.

And the people. Let me tell you about the people. I remember a very nice young man, probably mid to late 20s, who had been under so much stress at his job that he suffered what sounded like an anxiety attack. He'd come there to try to work through it and A friendly, interesting, adoring mother probably in her 30s, whose doctor hadn't filled her medication in time so she admitted herself to get the care she needed.  There was an incredibly gentle woman, probably in her 50s, suffering from severe grief at the loss of a parent. There was a quiet young musician who battled depression and admitted himself because he could see he needed some additional help and support. There were no zombie-rsque figures that looked like they were going to claw your eyes out, like the images portrayed on the asylum-themed billboards. They were real people, with real illnesses. People who had reached out for help and support, or whose loved ones had done so in effort to help them. They were perfectly friendly people of all ages who had jobs and kids and friends and responsibilities that they planned to go back to once they felt they had gotten the help they'd gone there for.

Can you imagine an a"attraction" in which  grossly misrepresented cancer or diabetes sufferers were used to scare visitors? This wouldn't fly, because it's not only inaccurate, but it's horrendously insensitive to those who battle these illnesses, who have loved ones who battle these, who lost loved ones to these. So why are mental health conditions any different? Why is it OK to put these illnesses, and the people who have them, on display in grotesque caricature form and call it entertainment? Quite frankly, it's not. And they need to stop.