Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A Year Of Chances

Every New Years, I'm convinced "this is going to be the year!". The year for what, I'm not sure. The year I finally figure out how to reach my dream, they year I decide to take my dog and laptop and work from the road, the year I win the lottery and never have to worry about a bill again? Ok not the last one... I even don't play the lottery. But for some reason, the start of a new year always makes me feel like "definitely, this is it". Probably, it's my subconscious attempt to grandly exit the previous year which wasn't "the year".

I realized, though, that every year, I somehow seem to expect the world to do the work for me. Not that I don't work hard at my career and company, in my relationships both personal and professional. But I didn't do a whole lot differently. Sure, I've done a business analysis of my company to see how it is doing and what changes are needed, and I've talked with friends and family about my general goals in life. But there wasn't a lot of chance taking on a larger scale. I didn't evaluate my life as a whole - was I doing what I truly wanted to be doing? Was there anything missing that I might want to have or be doing down the road?  Was I really making room in my life my dreams and living a life that encouraged them? These are the kind of questions I tended to gloss over at best.

I've learned that a "stagnant" life is not for me. I don't do so well with the status quo. I need life to be exciting and interesting and a place where I'm constantly learning and growing. In 2013 I realized that in order for it to be "the year", I needed to start taking chances. I took a really deep look at myself, and what I wanted in every aspect of my life. I realized that I needed to take a few big leaps, and hope that I was either successful or that there was a sturdy net below. I needed to get out of my comfort zone. I accepted that it's ok to say "I need a bit of a change in what I'm doing" or "I need xyz in my life because it feels more fulfilling".

This year I decided to participate in a kindle book anthology and this current blog challenge a  for I AM WOMAN (link below). The decision was very nerve wracking. I get anxiety with people reading my work at times... ironic for a blogger, I know. I also have been working with a friend to organize a hike to benefit the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation. Talk about putting yourself out there - what if nobody signs up and the only donations are from blood relatives who are obligated? I'm also collaborating with another friend on organizing a destination writing retreat, which is something I've mulled over for quite a while. I told that same friend that I wanted to teach a writing workshop to help people with mental health conditions, and she told me she's going to convince me to make it happen. I found that, despite my fear of failure, I'm actually encouraging her to do so. These are huge chances in my book, and I'm taking them all in the same time frame. I'll be honest - it feels great. I feel like I'm moving forward, making my mark, and getting to where I truly want to be. Some might take off, and others might not, but I'm doing something about them, and gaining experience and knowledge along the way.

So perhaps, this is your year too. Maybe there some places you've been holding back, or some unexplored corners you'd like to reach into. Perhaps you are working on letting go of past troubles or hurts so that you can move forward towards where you want to be. I'm pretty convinced, though, that barring any personal traumas,  if we take some chances, it can be our year. Because you're trying, and that means you're learning and you're moving. You're not sitting around and waiting for it to happen. You're digging down deep, taking some risks, and allowing for changes to take place.

This blog is written as part of the I AM WOMAN 30 Day Blog and LinkedIn Challenge. 


  1. Maya,
    I especially love the first paragraph of this blog. I think that is probably the way that just about everybody who celebrates a new year feels.

    1. Thanks! In some ways I feel it's one more way subliminal marketing has gotten to us (or not subliminal .. Ie gym memberships for those weight loss resolutions) but I think it's also human nature to be excited about a 'fresh start' and New Years gives us that, at least in our minds.