Thursday, March 5, 2015

Seven Deadly Sins - Greed

A selfish and excessive desire for more of something (such as money) than is needed. It's the definition of greed. While this highlights money as the object of desire, I think it can be said of many things - position or power, for instance. But I'd like to switch it around a bit. Instead of more tangible items, such as wealth or job status, I'd like to look at "greediness" in terms of personal and emotional needs. 

I am, admittedly, an emotionally needy person. I've discussed this before. I desire a lot of attention, quality time, and love, and I need them in the way that I need them - which is often not the way in which people are prepared to provide them. I'm picky, I know.  I need to surround myself with people who will be there to support me when I'm down, take care of me in my worst times, and value not only the positives, but truly see and appreciate all of me. I'd venture to say that my emotional needs, by virtue of the nature of my condition, are more than the average persons. There have certainly been people who have felt my desire for personal closeness and love a bit extravagant.

Before I come across as a dependent spoiled brat, let me explain. Cyclothymia brings with it overly intense emotions, both high and low. While I dislike these feelings on one hand, I'd feel hollow without them. I crave emotion. Without it, I am numb, void, and everything feels pointless. Contentment is difficult for me, because the emotion of contentment often isn't strong enough. When things are "ok" or even decent, I feel like something is missing. Is my need for emotion selfish and excessive? Perhaps, at times. I often need, or at least feel that I need, more than others can give. It can be draining to them, and in that regard, maybe it is greedy. On the other hand, I feel everything 150 percent, and therefore am able to give out emotions at the intensity and frequency that I request. From that perspective, I'm not asking for anything more than I'd expect of myself, which doesn't sound very greedy at all. 

Can greed be applied to things such as attention, quality time, and love - things that, traditionally, we look at as positive? Does make me greedy for emotions the way others are greedy for money, position, and power? I'm not convinced, but as someone who likes to look at both sides of things, I can, at least occasionally, see the argument. Either way, it is an interesting way to look at this deadly sin. 

No comments:

Post a Comment