Friday, May 27, 2016

A Thank You Goes A Long Way (I hope)

I do a lot of heavy thinking and talking on this blog. It is, after all, a serious topic that needs more serious attention, so that's intentional. But I also know how quickly that can lead to spiraling into a place where you can't even enjoy the better side of things when they happen. I've been there lately. A lot. The brain keeps dragging you back, unable to shift until it says "ok, time to change gears", under no control of our own. So while I'm having a "good" morning, I wanted to give a note of thanks to those who make my days as bright as they can be, even if it's sometimes a light so dim it barely seems to be there. These are in no particular order other than coming into my brain, except the last two. They are the ones I truly could not live without, and so I have saved them for the very end. 

  •  Thank you, to my nearby friends who are there in person when I need them most. When I'm feeling like nobody wants to see me, ever again, you are there to say "let's do... anything." Doesn't matter what. You're there. 
  • Thank you, to these above friends, for understanding when I say, "I can't do the group thing, can we change plans/sit in and watch bad TV and drink wine/do brunch instead of a night out because I am too exhausted" and change plans just for me. 
  • Thank you to my dog Gracie for being there to snuggle and let me cry with you when I need it. Cinn was a tough act to follow, and though you are the complete opposite, you make me smile with your intelligence and cute ways and cuddly-ness, and how excited you are to see me every single time I walk in the room. 

  • Thank you to my coworkers, for making my office an enjoyable place, and for bringing me coffee. Definitely for bringing me coffee. 
  • Thank you to my far away friends, for keeping in touch even when we haven't seen each other in ages. You're some of my dearest even when not logistically my nearest, and the effort you make means so much. 
  • Thank you to those friends I haven't met in person, but have gotten to know through social media. Whether we share a common career path (ahem Women Business Owners), we're passionate about mental health advocacy, or we just plain old clicked for whatever reason, thank you. Just because we haven't met doesn't mean you mean any less to me. In fact, sometimes you the first people I reach out to - I know you often understand what I'm going through, and will listen and talk as I need. And I know you'd do the same to me, and being able to be there for you means the world to me. 
  • Thank you to all those who have been part of my past.  Regardless of the role you play/ed in my life, you have, in some way, shaped me into who I am today. I wouldn't be that person without you having been a part of my life, no matter how big or small a part you were. Perhaps we've gone our separate ways for some reason, or perhaps we still know each other. If the latter, thank you for hanging in there! I know it's been a rocky road. If not, thank you for being a part of my life, at some point, in some capacity. 
  • Thank you to everyone who has donated to or otherwise supported my Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk for Suicide Prevention. I made my goal and then some. Some of you I've known for ages. Some of you I've just met. Some of you I've never met. And yet you supported me, and my cause, which so many people still opt not to support. It means the world to me that you do. 
  • Thank you to my family. Without you (literally in the case of my parents), I would not be here. You are incredible. You love me unconditionally, in the toughest times, and have for 36+ years or however long you've been on this earth, and I know that no matter what else happens in this topsy turvy life of mine, I can always count on you - for support, for listening, for just being there, to laugh furiously at things that nobody outside of our would even find funny, when I need it the most. 

  • Thank you, to my boyfriend, my partner, my love, my rock. You are everything. You keep me sane on a daily basis. Just being in your presence makes the whole world more live-able. You make my future seem brighter, my dreams seem less-far fetched, my goals seem attainable. You put up with my mood cycles, my anxiety, my panic, my numerous chronic illness issues, and you do so with love and gentleness and understanding. With you at my side I know I can truly get through anything. 

Thank you, to each and every one of you. I probably do not say it enough. In fact, I'm sure I do not. But I hope you know that, even when I don't have the chance to voice it, I appreciate you and all you have done. 

However you spend this Memorial Weekend, whether in celebration or remembrance or some combination, I hope you have as good of one as possible - you deserve it. 

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