Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Let Me Be A "Dog Mom" If I Want To Be

Mother's Day is coming up. Which means a rush on flowers and chocolates and jewelry and every other cliched gift in the book which costs five times as much as it will next week. It's full of mothers posting 200 pictures of their children every two minutes on every social media, and expectant mothers posting pictures of the inside of their uterus in the form of ultrasounds. And I understand. You are all very grateful to have mothers and be a mother. I am incredibly grateful for my own mother, so I know this feeling well.

But for some of us, mother's day is painful.  We do not have children. And sure, that could be a choice, but for many, it's not. For whatever reason, we've not been able to become parents (and the reason, for the record, is none of your business). These people, like me, may post pictures of their pets and tout the fact that they're a "dog mom" or whatever the pet of choice is. It let's us be part of the celebration. Yes, we know our dog is not a child - or most of us do anyway, there's an exception to any rule.  I watch my friends and siblings with their kids. I see the dark circles under their eyes (no offense) when their kids have been up all night sick or crying or whatever the reason, and they've gotten a total of four hours of sleep in the last three days. I see busy moms running from work to picking up kids from school to home making dinner or helping with homework or whatever the task. I hear how they haven't gotten to pee or shower by themselves once in the last two years. I do not truly think, "well, you know, Grace has to go out to go to the bathroom four times a day, so I know EXACTLY how you feel." I love my dog, and I might, at times, treat her like a kid, but I don't actually think she is one.

And yet lately, I've seen this backlash of angry moms saying how infuriated they get when people post on mother's day about being a dog or cat or mini-horse mom and how these people have no idea how tough it is and how dare they compare it to actually being a parent and it's so annoying and on and on. Let me tell you something. We don't compare it. We know it's not the same thing, or even close. We're posting pictures of our dogs because it's all we've got in the way of a "kid." It's mothers day, and we have nobody else (smaller and dependent on us) to post oodles of pictures of and say how much we love them. We're joining in the only way we can. And maybe, just maybe, this helps just the tiniest bit in heeling the giant hole in our heart from not having a human child. So please, cut us some slack and let us be "dog moms". I never wanted to see pictures of your uterus, and you don't want to see how I'm a dog mom. Let's call it even and let each other be.  

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